We made it thru yet again..

The title says it all.

We made it thru yet again.

We made it thru...those fightings were had for the last 3 days.

We had made it up to each other.

We met and we talked abt it.

Its so much different when we talked abt it on the phone
and face to face.

Saying it all out,expressing everything was so much much easier and
calmer.

Conversations didnt turned to screaming.

Thru out the night,
the radio had been airing our song.

Mad-Neyo.

God.

How we gazed at each other eyes.

That gaze...
they were communicating.

How that gaze from our eyes were trying to say
how much we love each other.
And how we regretted wat had happened.
We were so sorry.

That kiss...was so passionate indeed.
Suddenly we were surrounded by nuthing bt love.

Thou we thought we were at the worst stage of our relationship,
together we had proved that we were still holding so strong.

I love you dear.

Fate..will it side us?

Things happened.
Fights turned into screaming.
It was not sumtink new to us.

Ila sedih...sedih sangat.
He's not going to do anything abt it.

Perlukah aku terus mengharapkan?
Apakah maseh ada kerinduan yg tersimpan dihatimu sayang.
Atau mungkinkah aku seorg sahaja...

Sebagai seorg perempuan,
I juz need him to be there to listen to my complains.
To be there to show me and make me feel how important I am in his life.
No matter how shitty his life is..
No matter what he is going thru.

I had my time too.
And for me,boyfriend is the best person I can turn myself to.
And I realised,that doesnt work for him.


"We are in the worst stage of our relationship n I dont even have a thought of it recovering.
I am not in a state to go all out for it to make it work bcoz i am in an even worst state of my life be it in my career
n my life. I leave it to fate to c what it has in store for me.
God bless."
That was the msg you gave earlier.

You aint gonna do anything.
'I dont even have a thought of it recovering.'
Ya Allah...
Tuhan maha mengetahui apa yg ku rasa sesaat membaca nya.

I always and still wonder,
are you even afraid of losing me in your life?


Mungkin ini adalah dugaan ku.

Tapi mengapa ini semua terjadi bila aku telah mulai meyintaimu.
Tuhan maha mengetahui betapa payahnya utk hati ni terbuka utk menerimanya.

Namun ...
may be Im just a burden to him.

You dun need to take that extra mile if your heart do not want to.
Im not asking you to,
if its nt from ur heart.
Iklas adalah yg paling penting dalam sesuatu perhubungan.

Mungkin i harus korbankan perasaan sendiri demi utk kita.


Kepada Tuhan aku berdoa
Semoga Tuhan memberikn ku semangat utk menempuhi segalanya.
Hanya Dia mengetahui segalanya.
Hanya Dia yg memahami perasaan ini.

Ya Allah..
tabahkn lah hati hambamu ini.
Sesungguhnya aku seorg hamba yg lemah..
lemah menghadapi segala kekecewaan yg telah kau berikan padaku.

Namun iman di hati akan tetap mendorongku utk bangkit dn teruskn perjalanan.
Perjalanan sehingga hari yg telah kau tetapkn utk ku pulang kepadaMu.

Kepada Tuhan juga aku berdoa,
semoga dirimu diberi ketabahn hati utk menghadapi segala kesukaran,kesempitan dalam hidup
yg sedang kau alami.
Semoga Tuhan memberimu ketenangan dalam hati.

Ya Allah,
Kau berkatilah hubungan kami.
Kau restuilah perhubungan kami.
Seandainya memang ini jodoh kami,
Kau berilah kami hidayah.
Amin.

I've never give up on you,
so I hope you wun give up on me,
never give up on us.

We had built this beautiful relationship together.
Thru thick & thin.

Like the song that you are listening now..
''Stuck With Each Other''

I love you dear.

"Beautiful Night with Mr Jablalan xoxo"~~Day 3

Yesterday was the 3rd day of my AL.
Thank God I went out. At last!
Had a nice Asam Pedas,Dhal Lemak & Fried chicken for lunch over at Hubby's place.
Those dishes....Yummy!!
Thank you Mummy!
How I wish i could call her mak. Well I got very comfortable with her already.
But yah..mayb its too soon for that.

Soon after lunch we went out to catch a movie down @ Century Square.
~The Hauting of Connecticut~~
or was it The Haunting in connecticut???
Hahahah.
Story line was fine...the shocking audio was superb...bt it was actually S L O W.
Hhehehe.

You know what,
at one point I turned my head unintentionally and i saw a young couple,15-16yrs old teenagers,
Kissing!!!
Lol.
And i was so so excited that I tugged ubby's hand and went,
"B! B! I nampak budak2 belakang ngah SL!"
And ubby went,
"Ye ke??"
We laughed...
Zaman bila tu...
We'd played that game before.
Dulu masa age tu...boleh lah.
Tengok wayang tu masa yg paling best, *wink wink*
Sekarang...tengok wayang means tengok wayang. Lol.

After the show...its time for us.
Just the two of us..
Before that we went down to Kak Mas's place nak amek lauk.
Habes lah..
Satu kereta bau mee soto!!
Hahaha.. Im so super tempted kn nak rasa.
*Jilat tapak tangan*
Kak Mas ni memang pandai masak...
Salute!
Kak mas!!! Adik nak your cheesecake!
Nak Lagik!!! Nak!! Pleeeaaassee kak..
Nanti tunang I nk request 1 dulang full of ur sinful cheesecakes.

Farish Anaqi. (hopefully its the rite spelling)
This cute lil boy.
So scared of ubby.
Ape ke tdak...he's big,garang plak tu,
Alaa...dear pun satu.
Sengaja nk menyakat budak tu.
This cute lil' boy bila dh jumpa Ucu dia..siapla dia jadi gymnastik.
Siap la badan dia..lentok sini lentok sane.
Body suddenly automatically becomes so flexible.
Cute kn...macam nak cium2 je budak ni.
Tapi ngan i pun dia takut...hahaha.
Macamne eh??
Give him few months
Besar sikit confirm he'l be ok.
Love this boy :)

Soon after that we went somewhere to spend that last moment together before
we headed home.
To him,
I appreciated the beautiful night with you darling.
I used to think that i was moving too fast.
People around me condemned me for doing so..
I used to be so stressed out abt it...I used to be so so unsure.
Unsure of being in a new relationship,unsure of my life,unsure of myself and unsure of him.
And how Im not into him.

But now, all with God's will
Alhamdulillah.

Who cares abt wat other people think?
In the 1st place,do they even care abt wat I feel??

So yah...
Im so so certain abt my life now,
Esp abt my relationship.
Now when I look into his eyes,
I know Im feeling love.
Love for him...and his love for me.
God knows how that feelings develop.
How Im so into him now.

No matter how mad we were with each other,
No matter how our fights turned out to be so ugly,
At the end of it,we are still there.
Strongly together indeed.
More of like Marah-Marah Sayang.
Hehehe.
God knows how hard we went through.....A LOT.

Macam semlm..
im so so mad at him for buying those 4D.
I hate it..im so so mad.
I just want him to be a normal person.
A normal guy,a guy who will work his arse off to get the money.
Not by buying 4D!
Congrats for winning dear... but please fulfill ur promise to me.
As i said...
I dont want to get married to a guy who is into 4D.
But yah...i don't want to spoil the night so I gave in.
Dear dear....sigh.

Now im almost ending my Day 4.
Nothing much.
Be a good girl,stay home.
Hahaha...

Till then,
Missing Mr Jablalan.
xoxo

New MySpace Layouts

'BoReDoM StRuCk mE To tHe cOrE!'~~Day 2

One word,4 alphabets:
B O R E D

Grab a new Myspace Layout

Thats wat I felt thru out the whole day.

As usual,woke up in the morning.
Did sum errand to the market,did housechores,helped mum in the kitchen
to cook lunch and by 1400hrs,
I was doing nothing.
NOTHING! Till now...this freaking hours.

Baca magazine pun 30minit dah habes satu magazine tu.
Boring pe...
Moodless terus. Ish!

Tunggu si dia col...but yah..
He got sick again.
So he need that early night rest.
Pissed off ah...bt try to cool down..
Nanti dia kata I tk understanding plak kan.
Next week without fail,Im gonna bring him to have his Flu Vaccine.
Tiap2 2 weeks mesti fall sick.
Dahlah tu,degil.
Doctor gave him anti-biotics tapi tk pernah nak complete the course.
UUUrrrgH!
Stubborn yet adorable. xoxo *wink

And now I kekurangan kasih sayang..
*Sob Sob*
Its only day 2....and I got 4 more days.
Kalo 4 hari tu semua mcm hari ni...i bleh mati.
Otak mati!

Guess I really need to plan up my next 4 days of AL.

So here I am doing some Facebooking and Blogging.
While listening to some music..
Ngah berjiwangz nih.
Listening to 'Yang terjadi kan tetap terjadi-Qiara'.
The song is so telling abt my life now..
Tangkap lentok plak mlm2 ni.

Duit plak makin surut..
Haiz.
3 more days to payday!!
Need to plan for Saturday night & Sunday.
But the most important thing to do when that day arrive is to put aside 500bucks for the KL Trip.
So excited..But that is on 6th Aug.
And Monday im back to WORK!
"WORK + WORK + WORK - REST + COMPLAINS - COMPLIMENTS = TIRED & EXHAUSTION & PISSED"
That is the equation for being a Nurse.

Shit. And now im staring at my lappy.
Damn...wats wrong wit me today.
Someone slap me...PLEASE.

Dahlah.
Tido pun cantik ah.
Wakes up and welcome another day of my life.
Another episode in the drama of life.
But somehow,the plot is unpredictable.
Nothing is certain in this life thou.

Till then bloggies.
Taking care. xoxo

Finally Im on AL! ~~Day 1...

Greeting bloggies!!!
I know i know....its been a long time since i wrote an entry.
Well busy with my commitments in work & family.
Things were goin fine...
Those ups & downs were always there thou.
But here I am...still alive and kicking.

July is ending and August is coming.
Rasa macam baru sambut New Year bt in fact and reality its ending.
2009 is ending...soon without we realising.

Work sux...bt enduring.
Not hating the job but actually the hatred goes to the management!!
Those beautiful collegues are there to keep me holding on.
Planning to take my Diploma In Nursing.
Tapi now I have a lot in mind to think of 1st.
Kalo i go back to school i need to work partime to support myself.
Then my family mcmne...
Nak save duit kahwin lagik.
Ahakz...
School will be 3 years seh.
Mungkin after marriage??

Other than that been thinking abt him.
More abt his job...
Im so worried.
But whatever it is,I'l support him with watever decision that he will make.
When you are happy I feel those happiness too.
If you are sad I'll share your sadness too.

Ok...so, Day 1:
I became a housewife...hehehe.
Woke up in the morning. Did the housechores,did the laundries,did the errands,
did the cooking,did the serving,did the washing and here I am.
~~Tired & exhausted~~
Spent some time FaceBooking & Blogging.
And later I need to iron dad's shirt and my siblings school uniform.
ADEQUATE WIFE TRAINING.
Ader tokoh??

Sigh..
Missing my Mr Jablalan...
Me and my Mr Jablalan...had quite a rough patch lately but we were still holding on.
Very Strong Indeed!
Well im loving our LOVE-HATE relationship.
At times I hate him that I feel like killing him.
But there are times he makes me love him more than anything else..
Am so looking forward for our KL trip.
And that is 2 weeks from now..
I LOVE YOU AAAyyyaaannngggg!!! *pouts*

K la k la...im logging off 1st.
My brother nk use the lappy for his project.
Sibuk je !!

To be continued....

Gua dah malas

Greetings again bloggies.

Here I am at home. In my lil cozy room enjoyin the windy morning, thinking, planning, soul searching whats there to be done. Scares me a bit when i realised the situation that i'm in. Near to jobless. Why near? I guess its just ridiculous to be having a person of my caliber to go to my workplace doing nothing, being placed on standby n not whacking any cents into my pocket. Whats the point of going to work when i noe that there is no room to show my professionalism n failing to prove my hard work?I guess that damned company made use of us locals to their own advantage where they only need us only when they really need us, not because we are an asset of the company.

Just hoping for the best of me and what i did was right to enrol for my class 4 license and yeah my class 4 tp will be on 06/08/09. I cant let go of this small stepping stone in my life. Behind me there will always be my backups. My mum, my gal n my sis n of coz abg. Most important of all is her, these past few days she have been very supportive of my decisions. Thanks dear for being my backbone all these while. May god bless our relationship. Love u always.

That small stepping stone

Greetings bloggies.

Its been awhile since i added an entry. May 16.. my last entry lol!!

Today is another grievous day, where I think improvements have to be done to my life.

That small stepping stone to open up wider opportunities in life.

Well later im going to enrol for my class 4 license la. Nothing much.

I think i just cant survive living wit a class 3 license.

I need to get myself more stabilise thats all period!

Lol takde keje nyer mamat.